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...hey everyone.

Wow. It's been 6 years since my last post when I was starting my sophomore year in high school. Time really went by and life happened, which happens to everyone as bittersweet it can get. People come and go, the good times don't last and you end up wishing you could relive them and feel whole with those memories again. But in most cases, that doesn't happen. You can only make the most of them when you're in that moment and try to make those moments memorable when you look back at them in the future. But, not all the future is sad, there's good parts too. You meet people, see new places and things and your perspective on yourself and the world around you changes as you grow. As I grew up to where I am now, being a 22 year old bisexual culinary school drop out who has dysthymia and anxiety, I have learned things throughout those 6 years from then to now, but naturally I will continue to learn and grow as a person with the years to come. I wish I can tell to my 6 year ago self that I mainly got my shit together, but yeah that's probably not gonna happen anytime soon haha. I have dreams and things I want to pursue, but the first step is getting your shit together and of course, I'm scared. Scared of the risks I have to take and the prices of pursuing things that I can't afford. Hopefully in another 6 years or between them, I would take those nescessary risks, being prepared for them and being able to afford those prices. Or maybe the universe will grant me a chance and help me out...but that's too easy and naive to hope for though, as much as I still do.

As for posting on here, I don't know the next time I'll be on here as I have a Tumblr now, so I'm claiming this as my last post on here. Plus isn't Livejournal mainly dead anyway? I guess some shit happened to the site, oh well lol. For those who've read my stuff in the past and waited on me after all these years (highly doubt it though), thanks again. Best advice I can give to those reading is to try to be a good person and make good choices for yourself, as hard as that can be for some. We can do it. Take care.


Update (9/4/11)

Hello everyone! I haven't been posting stuff for quite a while because due to Livejournal's problem with the media posting during the summer, so I didn't want to post any without my gifs. But since all that has been fixed, I added gifs for two entries I kept private and now they are posted. Just some reviews for angsty hetalia fanfictions I read and all of that emotion. So anyway, I started my second year of high school two weeks ago and it's a little different than my freshmen year, that's for sure. So for all of the gif glory, here is what I think of my classes so far.

-Pre-AP WH

It has a little more work than WG, but I think I can handle it and like it.


It's kinda complicated, but I believe it won't be hard. I just hope I do a better job this year than I did at Algebra 1 last year.

-Choir (Cantori)

It's okay so far, although the teachers expect us to know the parts/music we been introduced to, even though it was a short time and some of us still had to write it in because they really give us a short time to do so. And there's also a certain girl I knew for a long time (and all I can say is that our friendship ended kind of messy) is in my class, which was a real surprise for me. When I saw her at first, I was like-

But now I'm just like-


It's doing okay so far, I just hope I can do better in it than Biology last year.


It's not that bad as the gif indicates, but ever since we starting exercising, my body was hurting so bad and now it's just my legs (but goddamn they still hurt as bad) and I think I'm the only girl that wants to use the weight room.

-English 2

It's okay, but there's some people in there that really can't shut up at all. Ugh.

-Japanese 2

I actually like it than Japanese 1. I think it's easier because there's only 11 or 12 of us and because of this, our teacher is more relaxed about and we get a lot more stuff done quicker. She's (the teacher) still strict, but she's a lot more nicer this year with us.

So since I'm done talking about my classes, I just wanted to say that I finally got a copy of The Master and Margarita a few weeks ago (thanks to halcyonjazz's amazing character art and comments about it) and it just so...so...

This book is just so AMAZING. Woland is just a magnificent bastard, Koroviev and Behemoth are just trolling geniuses, and Margarita is so fabulous for wanting to save her lover (the Master) and how crazy she was with Azazzelo's cream. I actually haven't finished the book yet, but it's still very good so far and I know it will be like that from where I am to the end.
Gah, this week has been the worst week on summer vacation for the first time. Just personal stuff and all.

But hopefully, next week won't be so bad and at it's best since I'll be at the beach for a week.

But this entry is also a review for a fanfiction that I finished last night, Hello Hurricane http://www.fanfiction.net/s/5757755/1/Hello_Hurricane

I found this 18 chapter Hetalia fanfic and a little bit of songfic on TV Tropes in the fanfic references section .

But I will warn you, as it is wonderfully written and most of characters are also written very well (it actually made me like Prussia more and dislike Russia a little more than I do), this story is very heartbreaking and a tearjerker once you get more and more in the story . I believe this is the first fanfic that made me overwhelmed for a long time, out of all of the heartbreaking fanfictions I've have read. It's heartwarming, breathtaking, heartbreaking and amazing. I want to say that the real tearjerker angst starts on chapter 15 to the last chapter (18). Like, I expected the main character (I won't say who it is due to major spoilers) to die, but not the way he did, which was a heartbreaking shock to me when I first read it.

Until chapter 15, my reactions consisted of this-

But all that changed at chapter 15, which was-

I was actually too shocked to cry, thinking that I shouldn't continue the story (but I didn't). Then at the last three chapters, it was just all-

So many emotions were conflicted in this story and so much bawling was done, it's not even funny at all. While I was reading, I told my dad I kinda busying reading this after he asked me if I wanted to go into the another room and watch America's Got Talent and he mumbled out loud "f**cking Japanese comics", which meant he thought I was reading manga and being lazy and anti-social like he thinks I am, which also did not help me at all while reading.

So overall, this is a wonderful story with very good writing and character development. But I wouldn't recommend it to people who don't like tearjerkers and moments full of heartbreak.
So I decided to read some Hetalia fanfictions that I found on TV Tropes last night. I choose two dark fics and a pairing fic to read.

First, I read A Castle of Silence and Bones (http://www.fanfiction.net/s/5641188/1/A_Castle_of_Silence_and_Bones)

As the Troper who found this said, the writing of this story is gorgeous. It's in high describing form, so that makes it even more expressive. Despite the OOC of Japan and all of the blood, this is actually well done and had some historical people like Emperor Hirohito and Empress Wanrong. But what also was cool was that all of the titles for each chapter made up a song or a poem combined, which was reveled in the last chapter. One of the best parts was when China stood up to Japan and said, "No one can own China" and was all like-

I also loved how China killed Japan in the end (he had it coming anyway). So overall, this fanfic was good.

Next, I read The Seventh Door (http://community.livejournal.com/all_he_ever/1729.html). To me, this story, was kind of awkward. Okay, I get the part where Prussia was trying to rape Hungary in front of Austria. But the part where it got me was when Hungary kissed Prussia when she was choking him with her chains and it looked like that she let him rape her.

Maybe there was something I didn't get to understand half of the story, but it was just how the way I read it. So overall, this story was...average. Not great to my amusement, but not horrible.

The last one I read was Here Comes The Candle (http://www.fanfiction.net/s/5731362/1/). When I found out about this story on TV Tropes like the other two, the Troper who found this said this was extremely heartbreaking. Well I thought, 'Well, I've read most heartbreaking stuff I didn't cry (but still felt a little heartbroken after reading them), so I'll give this one a try.'

...This story almost made me cry mega tears. I did cry, but I couldn't wail or go into berserk tears do to me having to be quiet since everybody was asleep. But this story was a major tearjerker for me. See, since England was in major economic problems, his leader decides to make him a part of America, which made England the 51st state. Apparently, this did not make Alfred or England happy, to say the least (if you read England and America's point of views, then you would see what I mean.) At the ending of the first chapter, I was like-

And at the a few parts of the second chapter, the ending and Alfred's full prayer just made me go-

Overall, this fanfic IS a major heartbreaker and a tearjerker. It's actually one of few heartbreaking fanfics that actually made me have lots of tears flowing on my face. I might as well read the author's other story since this one did get to me.

xxxHolic chapter 213 (MAJOR SPOILERS)

I decided to read the last chapters of xxxHolic before I finally go to sleep from another all-nighter, thinking that the last chapter will be pretty epic. Since, you know, it IS xxxHolic.
I really, really don't know what to say. I just really don't , because I am disappointed and confused.

So....basically, Yuuko never talks in the dream, Watanuki is more than 100 years old & still running the shop, Doumeki, Himawari, Kohane are dead (since supposedly the guy that was talking to Watanuki is Doumeki's son or grandson), the egg was never used and Watanuki is still waiting for Yuuko to come back?


Way to make an ending and piss a lot of people of, Clamp . WAY TO FUCKING GO.

Reactions to E3 annoucements

I didn't watch the whole E3 convention on TV, due to my cable being out, but trailers for games came out on Youtube. So first I watched the Assassin's Creed: Revelations trailer and I was all like-

The trailer was so goddamn epic and the song that play in it (Iron-Woodkid) is so badass and I can't stop listening to it.

Then, I watched the new game for the Sims, and I was like-

Using Facebook with Sims, really...really?

Then I saw the trailer for the new Sly Cooper game and I thought it was okay and all.

But then, I saw what I couldn't believe I saw, which was a title for a video called "Soul Calibur 5 E3 2011 Trailer", and I was all like

I watched it and was like

And when I found out you can play Sophitita's kids (since they're kind of the main characters of the game), I was like

I seriously did not think that they were going to create another game and thought that the 4th one was the final one. MY JOY WAS EXPRESSED.

So now we wait.

(Update on last entry- I passed all of my classes and I'm going to be a Sophomore. So now I can enjoy the summer with no worries :)








So, I going to see my future, which is if I'm going to the next grade or not, in the mail, on a piece of paper, in a few days...


Naruto 541 (spoilers)

I guess there wasn't a major battle after all in this chapter. But I will say the Raikage was a total douche in this. When he insulted Minato, said he would kill his brother when the time comes and people with Jinchuurikis don't have any rights, I was like, "Wow, what an ass."

But the one thing that got me was the ending to this chapter, which revealed that Bee's real name is not actually "Bee" and him and the Raikage are not really biological brothers after all.

So, yeah. I'm also planning to post about exams and the last day of school.....which is tomorrow.

Naruto 540 (spoilers!)

Okay, so here are my reactions to certain parts of this chapter-

When Neji appeared behind Sakura-

When the REAL Neji appears, still on the battlefield injured-

When Sakura attacked the fake!Neji-

And then it was revealed that it was one of White Zetsu's clones all along (Well, it did make sense)-

The "peeing in the lake" moment-

When that one guy appeared after that, which I really hope that it isn't who I think it is/isn't one of my favorite characters being cloned from one of the White Zetsus -

At the last page/when Tsunade and the Raikage appear to stop Bee and Naruto-

Great, probably another fight with 50% talking and 50% fighting.

On another note, I watched the end of the musical West Side Story at school and it was so heartbreaking at the ending.

Tony and Maria run towards each other, me thinking that this story will probably have a happy ending,

But, Gino shoots his gun and...Tony gets shot.

When Tony is dying in Maria's arms, Maria sings their song to him and then he dies (The water was forming in my eyes and I SERIOUSLY wanted to bawl at this part),-

The whole gang comes running in, Maria's speech about hate killing the ones she loved, realizes that she can't kill anybody or herself (maybe off-screen she does after the movie) and has a breakdown-

And also when she said "DON'T TOUCH HIM!" (This also touched me as well,) To the cop and then runs over to Tony,

And finally, where they pick up Tony's body and leave emotionless,

I haven't seen the whole movie, but I'll say I saw most of it. Besides the hilarious knife fight between Bernardo and Riff, a few corny moments, the scene with Anita and the Jets that made me really uncomfortable and the very heartbreaking ending (and the weird last minute part with them leaving emotionless), this was a very good musical, the acting was amazing, I loved most of the songs and I enjoyed it. Now on to The Sound of Music!

I am....so....happy

Okay, so I saw the official 3rd opening for Soul Eater for the rebroadcasting of the show in Japan and I was all like-

And then, I saw this-

And I was like-

I hope to God Gainax isn't making-up this. I REALLY, REALLY DO.